Have you seen the guilt memes for moms? Man they’re good! They really do their job! I think that they work so well because when you’re a mom, in the trenches, completely responsible for another human life and what that human will turn out to be, you can’t see much further than the baracades themselves. Were all searching for answers because we don’t want to make a single mistake in this war on family life and childhood. Did you know that Gen Y is known for parenting “by the book”? There are more books than ever before on parenting, and more parents reading them than ever before! The problem is, the more that we search, the more we mess things up.
This is a common theme amongst moms today. It’s a nice sentiment to moms that might be a bit Type A. It serves as permission to let the dishes or laundry or floors or dusting go… For a bit… To live life. Marthas need permission to not “do it all..
But while this cute little meme sounds great and provides healing to some, it quickly becomes an excuse for moms that aren’t on top of things to let their house go… Which isn’t all that bad. Unless you’re the kid or husband that might like a clean(ish) house. The same permission is twisted to make for unhealthy family life. I know what you’re thinking. “Gosh, Becky! You always make tiny things into big things!” Just keep reading.
Marthas can take this advice and use it the way it should be used. They can put the toilet brush down for now. But something that’s missing is that MARTHAS DON’T NEED TO BE TOLD TO PICK THAT BRUSH BACK UP. They just will because something inside them tells them that it is important, even if they don’t know why. Marys need permission TO do. Sometimes we just plain have to be motivated or told to do something. That whole living life thing comes a little too easy to us (I’m such a Mary)!
Let me tell you what it’s like to be a Mary in a Martha world. Mary sat at Jesus’ feet and chose “what was better” but Martha got stuff done. Mary had some great qualities that Jesus was using to teach Martha. But What About Mary? (Ha! Get it? No??) Mary lives in Martha’s house because she was so good at living life she didn’t seem to be such a productive member of society. She was a lovely little… Mooch. People liked her reguardless but she didn’t offer much beyond a good laugh or “good feelings.”
Here’s my point, and you know it will always come back to this: We hide cookies and eat them in the closet so our kids won’t see. One reason for this craziness is because we don’t want to share. But the big reason is because we want to be a good influence, and when you’re telling your kid to eat his carrots you can’t exactly be munching cookies, amiright? What kind of children are we raising when we “choose what’s better” too many times? When we NEVER do the dishes or laundry what are we teaching the kids? Things still have to get done! And this is the way that we teach these kids this very lesson!
It’s comical to me that parents truly want their kids to be good people that can actually do things for themselves when they grow up… Yet they don’t do the things they should be teaching those kids to do in the first place! Gone are the days of changing your own oil because we have a guy for that. No longer do we have to learn how to darn and sew because we just buy new.
When are the dish-doing fairies going to be invented?
Not likely. So who’s going to do them?
What kind of an adult are you wanting to raise? Guys, this issue goes much deeper than some silly dirty plates.
Recent stats by the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention found that the percentage of high school seniors who had a driver’s license fell from 85% in 1996 to 73% in 2010. Coincidence? No way.
We are teaching this generation that instant gratification (i.e. YOLO!) is perfectly fine. Kids no longer have to work to get the things they want. Let me re-word that; they no longer have to be patient and put forth any effort to see their friends… We have face time! The things our parents used to use to motivate us (um.. Chores!) no longer work. Could that be because we have been giving ourselves permission to make these things less worthy?
Think about it. But while thinking, do your dishes!
P.s…. don’t even get me started on stories about being that kid that was always too embarrassed to have friends over. Or the fact that your hubby more than likely likes to be comfortable in his own home. Or… The fact that kids NEED to learn that they are not always #1. But that one is for another time.
Make Good Choices,
With love, Becky