Marriage is not the problem… We are.

The more I study marriage, the more offended by society I become. I don’t think people realize how much influence the media and other outlets has on our personal relationships.

I consistently see memes and quotes about marriage that are down right terrible but in our American, let’s face it, selfish society, we eat that stuff up! I’m talking about the quotes about DESERVING happiness, DESERVING sex, DESERVING being taken care of with no reciprocation… I promise you’ve seen them too. These are the lies we let into our circle of influence. And I’m convinced that the selfish society we have created has dramatically influenced, for the worse, what marriage means in America.

My daughter and I are OBSESSED with Married at First Sight. Have you seen this show on TLC? Basically strangers are matched by experts and then without ever even meeting, get legally MARRIED!  What does this sound like… Arranged marriages, anyone? You may be thinking “How terrible!” “Why would anyone…!!” But let’s upack this for a moment shall we?


Arranged marriages actually have a much lower percentage for failure (yep. That’s the word I chose to use). Can you guess why?

Here in modern, first world America we sure love… Ourselves. We love convenience and quick results and whatever makes us feel good. And we’re told that’s how to live a happy life! So essentially, your spouse is only here to wait on you hand and foot and you are perfectly within your rights to take, take, take. Congratulations, America. We have successfully made a nation full of narcissists, terribly entitled people that are entering into a very SERIOUS convenet.

Back to the arranged marriages… In America we “feel” like we should be free to marry who we “love”. Don’t get me wrong! I’m definitely all for that! But something we need to start realizing…and effectively teaching the next generation, is that LOVE IS A CHOICE. It is NOT just a feeling. Anyone with gray hair who has has a SUCCESSFUL marriage will tell you that there are days when it’s so much easier to hate your spouse over choosing to love them. But the people who know the secret to marriage know that you have to choose to love your spouse every single day to make it through the rough parts.

In our 8th and 9th grade classes, we teach the diffference between love and lust. This has proven not only important to the students to be taught, but we also get TEACHERS and other adults that have no idea… And we can’t teach what we don’t know. Something to think about. These are a direct circle of influence and we learn from these and other places!

I will have more on this subject later. But for now, I want YOU to think seriously about the real happiness in your marriage. And then ask yourself, is any part that is unfulfilled a direct result of the influence of lies I let into my relationship?

Make Good Choices!

With love, Becky